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The Ugly Daughter in Law

Last week in Annie’s Project (Farm Management for Women Class), I learned some new vocabulary:


“If a guy is in farming with his dad, and the son dies, what does the Ugly Daughter-in-Law get?”

“Ugly Daughter-in-Law?” I asked.

“Yeah, you know – the daughter in law from the city, didn’t grow up on the farm, who knows nothing about farming, and doesn’t understand the CULTURE of agriCULTURE.  She thinks the sofa comes before the tractors.  It’s a common term that the Good Old German Boys used.”  He said this as if this was prerequisite knowledge before taking the course.


I guess I’m the Ugly Daughter-in-Law.

My husband’s family is German.

I did not grow up on a farm.

I knew very little about farming when we began.

I want a new couch.

Oh, and I’m a democrat.  Apparently farmers are supposed to be republican.  (My Father in Law declared that I would have to “become a republican now that you’re a farmer!”)


So really, have you heard this term before?  Am I an ugly daughter-in-law?  My father in law says (with a grin) that he’s heard of the situation, but not the terminology.  I googled it, and the only place I could find it was in a Chinese proverb literally translated to English, and a paper written by, guess who?  The Annie’s Project instructor.

Would you like to comment?

  1. Ugly Daughter-in-Law? Now that's funny! Can't say that I've ever heard of it, but I would definitely qualify IF we were actually farmers, we're just acreage dwellers. Our neighbors probably refer to us as something equally ugly. Oh my, it's not a very nice term, but I can imagine old men using it back in the day. I wonder where it originated?

  2. I've never heard that! Well at least you're the BEAUTIFUL "ugly daughter-in-law!" :)

  3. This situation is VERY common, but like your father-in-law I haven't heard of the expression. Also, I don't think you qualify because you and Bart opperate independently. I think this term/situation applies more to couples who are stepping into or taking over the family business. There are some women (some of my aunts included) who have to go to their father-in-law to ask for money to buy a new couch or take their kids back to school shopping. I think you're very smart and fortunate to be running your own business.

  4. I have never been called the Ugly daughter-in-law, but I know that I am referred to as the "daughter-in-law." Even though I have a background, my father-in-law tends to forget that and thinks I don't understand anything about the farm. Gotta love family businesses!

  5. That's funny! No, you are def NOT the ungly DIL!! :) lol!

  6. That's funny! I think my in-laws would call me the "ugly daughter-in-law" for entirely different reasons though. ;) By the way, I think your pictures that you enhanced look amazing. I would love to learn how to do that someday!

    Thanks for stopping by twelve crafts till Christmas!