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$%#@ my OB Says


My OB has a great sense of humor.  It’s one of the reasons I like him. 


Dr. Specimen from 30 Rock

It has also given me some great material for this post.  This is one of my favorite conversations from this pregnancy…

30 weeks:

Me:  Adam was born an hour after my water broke.  I’m kind of nervous that I won’t make it here in time if my water breaks at home.  And my husband is often in a turkey barn where he doesn’t get cell phone reception.

OB: How far away are the barns?

Me: Quarter mile.  Too far to walk!

OB:  Hmm..can you keep some dry ice at home?

Me:  I guess.  (thinking that it has something to do with the safety of the baby)

OB: Okay, then here’s what you do.  If your water breaks, put a couple of pieces of dry ice in a 2 liter bottle, with a little bit of water.  Put the lid on and throw it outside.

Me:  okaaayyyy….

OB: It will explode, and he’ll hear it and come to get you.  Just don’t throw it in the garden, because it will kill the plants.  My wife still doesn’t know that’s what happened to her hostas last year on the 4th of July.


I realized after I left that he never really gave me a straight answer.  I was back in the building for water aerobics later that day, and I saw him in the hallway and said…

Me:  Seriously, should I be worried?

OB: Where do you live?

Me: 30 minutes away in ________ (dinky little town of a couple hundred.)

OB: Yes, you should be worried.  If your water breaks at home, don’t take a shower, make supper, or run the dishwasher.  Just haul @$$ to the hospital.

Okay, great. :)


Has your Dr. ever said anything ridiculous like that to you?  I’d love to hear about it!

Would you like to comment?

  1. That's hilarious! I don't have any similar stories, but you can bet I'm with your OB on his advice! Now if only you had a way to alert your husband...

  2. LMAO!! He sounds like a great guy. My OB is super-laid back too (also why I love her) which is great when you're trying to VBAC. She was usually laughing at things that Husband said, of they were comparing me to pregnant cows (lots of milk jokes on a dairy farm).
    She did piss off a nurse on my behalf while I was in labor. See - our hosp. has a policy that if you're attempting VBAC - you have to be constantly monitored. This means that you can't go outside of 5 ft. from the monitor because they don't have the wireless kind. I wasn't making progress unless I was walking so doc told my nurse to unhook me so I could roam the halls. Nurse went all "But, hosp. policy says. . ." Doc stopped her. "Get her @$$ out of bed and make her crawl if you have to, just get her out of that bed!"

  3. I had to ask my OB if it was OK for me to drive tractors (they are bouncy and throw me around a lot)! He said he had never had anyone ask that! I worked ground up till I went into labor with all 3! I sometimes think my kids are a little off and try to blame it on that but my hubs tells me it is probably genetic not because he made work in the field!

  4. That is hilarious! I wish my OB had that sense if humor!

  5. Maybe your doctor and Dr. Spaceman are brothers.

    After my baby was born my doctor said, "You know how some babies look all gnarly when they come out? She doesn't. She's beautiful"

    Also. I asked if wanted me to call him on my way to the hospital or just have them call him. He said call him, then looked around for some paper, couldn't find any, and wrote his cell number on my hand.

  6. I do love it when doctors seem like 'normal' people. Sometimes they're.... well, let's say they don't treat me as if *I'm* normal.

    Hang on.... maybe it's because I'm not ;)

  7. OH that's funny. My OB dr. is kind of dry.


  8. I have any kids, and don't have an OB story... but I did want to point out that it is "Dr. Spaceman" :) Love that show... and your blog... thought you might want to be correct :)

  9. When Grace was born, the first words out of my doctor's mouth were not "It's a girl," but, "It's a taco grande!" She was big.

    Your doctor sounds fun.

  10. My mom is 5 ft. 2 inches tall. She was driving combine for corn harvest until the day before my brother was born in 1970.
    In my case my third was born 58 minutes after we arrived at the hospital(2 hours after my water broke. My husband went to school with the OB. She arrived just in time to catch the baby. He asked if we got a discount because she was home by 10:30 pm

  11. Love this! Hope everything works out! Maybe get a blow horn?? :) I had a very fast labor as well. Teach Big Brudder how to fetch towels & hot water!

  12. HahahaHA! I want your OB. My OB group is fantastic and all very nice and very qualified, but they don't really have much of a sense of humor. I think the dry ice idea is FANTASTIC! And I am still laughing my head (or @$$ ;)off. :)

  13. I had to link to this on my blog after my doctor's appointment today. Absolutely love it! I told my OB all about it and he figured a dry ice bomb would distract people as much breaking the pickle jar would!