Secrets from a Teacher: Prevention is Priceless

There are a lot of things I should have done differently this morning. I could write a week’s worth of blog posts about it. 

We went to my cousin’s baptism at a nearby church.  It is not our regular church, and although Isaac (3) has been there before, he probably didn’t remember it.  Isaac has also been crabby the past few days, and doesn’t like crowds.  Add that to the fact that I was not well-prepared this morning and we were running late, and the end result was slightly disastrous.

When my class went on a field trip, or was participating in another special event, like Career Day or Track and Field Day, I was always very careful to explain what was going to happen and the behavior I expected from them.

“When we go to the gym for the assembly, I expect you to sit quietly and listen to the speaker.  If you cannot do that, you will end up sitting by me.”

“On the bus, you need to sit in your seat.  You can not switch seats while the bus is moving, and be sure not to distract the driver.  That means no throwing things, yelling, or rough-housing of any kind.”

 

And I should have done that today.

“We’re going to a different church today to see Gianna and Jaxon get baptized!  We will sit by Grandma and Grandpa in the pew, and I packed some toys and crayons for you.  Remember, we have to whisper in church, okay?”

Just a quick explanation of what is going on and a couple of behavioral guidelines might have helped immensely.  When you are going somewhere or doing something unfamiliar, take a few seconds to think about the behavior you expect and discuss it with your kiddos.  Because an ounce of prevention is priceless.

---

(This post is part of a Secrets from a Teacher to Make You a Better Parent, a part of the write31days.com challenge.  The best way to keep up with this series is to subscribe via email here.)

Art Class: Photography

(Sorry – I’m taking a break from Secrets from a Teacher today!  Stay tuned for your regularly scheduled parenting tips tomorrow!)

Fall in Iowa: A Photo Essay

Okay, maybe “photo essay” is a stretch, but I was looking through pictures this morning and picked out some of my favorites from autumns past.

Decorating for fall just feels right.  I’m a big fan of the muted colors and natural elements.

But Mother Nature does a pretty good job of decorating on her own. Dark gray blue skies, golden fields, and a rainbow of leaves…

But for many of my friends and family members, fall isn’t about decorating or lounging around enjoying nature’s beauty.  Fall is about farming.

A message for my farmer friends this harvest season:

Thank you for what you do.  Be safe this fall.  And take a few minutes to enjoy the beauty around you as you reap the rewards of your hard work.

And if you need a reminder not to take life too seriously during this incredible busy and stressful time, I offer you these pictures of my sweet little boys, because I’m pretty sure you can’t help but smile at them.

Secrets from a Teacher: Plan Ahead

As a teacher, I was required to write lesson plans.  And quite honestly, it was one of the best parts of the job.  I loved searching for ideas, organizing my thoughts, and getting ready for the week.

Unless you are homeschooling (or a stay at home mom to little ones) you probably don’t need to schedule out your entire day, but planning ahead still has some merit.  Think about it – which evening goes more smoothly? The one where supper is in the crock pot and ready for your hungry little mouths at 5:30?  Or the evening when your kids tell you they’re hungry and you haven’t a clue what you’re going to feed them?

Unfortunately for my family, the latter happens more often than not at my house.  The kids are starving, the turkey is still frozen solid and I have no idea what to make for supper. 

And then there are Saturday morning soccer games.  How do they sneak up on me so quickly?  It was on the calendar all week, but we still run around like maniacs looking for the jersey, shin guards and socks every week!

The solution to these problems?  PLAN AHEAD!

It sounds so simple in writing, doesn’t it?

Every good lesson plan lists the supplies needed.  And every good teacher makes sure those supplies are ready to go well in advance.  (A good routine helps guarantee this.  I used to get the spelling packets ready every Monday before school.  Boom! I didn’t even have to think about it and it was done! And let’s face it, mindless copying and stapling was a good job for early Monday mornings.)

So, let’s try an experiment together.  On your weekly calendar, try listing the “supplies needed” for each event and get those things ready the day before.

• Soccer: jersey, socks, shin guards
• Sunday School: church clothes, church shoes, snacks
• HomeShed sale: receipt books, Red Granite Farm sweatshirt, toolbox

As a teacher, I used a daily organizer like this to make sure all my supplies were ready to go. 

The small baskets may not work for a family, but a closet organizer would be great for laying everything out in advance. (affiliate link)

As I write this, I wonder how I could possibly have taken my job as a teacher so seriously, but fail so miserably as a parent in many, many ways.  Of course my home is not a classroom, but there are so many aspects of classroom management and teaching that would make my life as a parent easier.  Is it ironic that the first tips I’m focusing on are the ones that I need to put into practice more often in my own life?

(This post is part of a Secrets from a Teacher to Make You a Better Parent, a part of the write31days.com challenge.  The best way to keep up with this series is to subscribe via email here.)

Secrets from a Teacher: Routines Work

I think I should retitle this series. Instead of Secrets from a Teacher to Make you a Better Parent, I’m thinking it should have been Secrets from a Teacher to MAKE PARENTING EASIER. Because we all need that, right?

And routines can make it easier.

I am, admittedly, not good at keeping up on routines at home. But at school, it was a MUST. With 20+ kids in a room, it was generally best if they knew what to do when. And routines made that happen.

In one of my elementary ed classes in college, we were given a list of 40 different scenarios that we needed to prepare a routine for. What will the kids do when they come in the classroom in the morning? What about after recess? After they finish their spelling test? Routine, routine, routine.

Routines help in several ways.

1. Predictability. Kids just function better when they have an idea of what’s coming next.

2. Cooperation. Routines cut down on so many battles. The kids know what’s expected of them from the start.

3. Self-sufficiency. Kids can become more self-sufficient when they know what to do without asking a grown-up.

Let’s apply this to a classic parenting battle: getting out the door on time in the morning.

For the past couple of years, we’ve had willy-nilly mornings. No real routine, until it was really time to go, and then I’d end up stressing out and running late, fighting the kids to turn off the tv, get dressed, and leave the house. I timed it once…it took 17 minutes from the time I first said, “Put on your shoes” to the time they were actually on his feet. Oh. My. Lanta.

But this year is different. Adam gets on the bus at 7:05 and doesn’t have time for tv or 17 minutes of fighting shoes. Instead, we have a short, tight routine and it gets the job done. Adam goes to bed and wakes up knowing exactly what is going to happen first thing in the morning. He knows what he needs to do and has a timeline for getting it done. (We set a timer on my phone that rings when he needs to brush his teeth and put on shoes.) He doesn’t fight about it and he can easily get himself ready for school on time.

(Isaac, on the other hand, doesn’t have to be at preschool until 9. Which means he has plenty of time to avoid having a routine.)

We need more routines at our house. A laundry routine, a room-cleaning routine, a supper routine…while I understand the value of routines, I also understand that life is unpredictable and hectic and it can be hard to eat dinner at the same time every night, or make time for a lengthy bedtime ritual.

But when things start to feel out of control, ask yourself if a routine would help.

(This post is part of a Secrets from a Teacher to Make You a Better Parent.  The best way to keep up with this series is to subscribe via email here.)

Secrets from a Teacher to Make You a Better Parent

I’ve been thinking about this series for a long time. You see, I am not a perfect parent, but I have quite a bit of experience with kids, and a degree saying I’m qualified to work with them every day, so that’s something, right?
My 4 (and a half) years as a teacher taught me a thing or two about kids and their behavior, and I’ve tried to apply that thinking to my parenting. Because being a parent is hard, and we all want to do better, right?
My professional kid-focused career began when I served as the summertime nanny for my cousin’s kids as a high school student. And a professional, I was not. Those poor, sweet kids spent a lot of time watching tv while I read novels, worked on my scrapbooks, and napped with the baby. (Fast forward a few years, and that sounds really similar to my maternity leave with my second child. Ooops.)
(I think I should issue an official apology to my cousin, her husband and her children, who have grown up to be amazing high school and college students despite, not because, my involvement in their lives.)
(Apologies should also be extended to my little brother, who had to bear the brunt of my inexperience in child care. Sorry, dude. I’ll try to make it up to you someday.)
Fast forward a few years and I spent a year and a half working at an after school program for kindergarten – 6^th graders. I had two amazing bosses (Hi Erin, Robin and Rachel!) and coworkers I loved. And because I was working towards my B.S. in Elementary Education at the time, I was able to try out many of the things I’d been learning in class
My senior year in college, I worked nearly full-time as a Child Abuse Prevention Specialist. I visited every kindergarten and 1^st grade classroom in our county, and saw over 1300 kids that year. The program I taught (Talking About Touching) helped children identify safe and unsafe touches, and what to do if abuse occurs. And during my time in this position, I was again able to put into practice the methods and techniques I was learning in my classes (and figure out what to do when a kindergartener convinces his whole class that armpits are private parts, because he really hated being tickled.)
I did my student teaching in kindergarten and fourth grade. The fourth grade class was ½ Hispanic, ¼ English Language Learners, ¼ Talented and Gifted and ½ Special Ed (an integrated Special Ed/Gen Ed class.) Then, after graduating in December, I subbed for the rest of the year before interviewing and accepting my first teaching job as a 4^th grade teacher in a rural Iowa school district.
And so began my official teaching career, which would last exactly the average in Iowa (4 ½ years) and include three different positions (4^th grade, 4^th – 6^th Title 1 Reading and Math, and K – 12 Talented and Gifted.) I realized after signing my contract for the 5^th year that I really wanted to be home with my 3 year old and 5 month old. But licensed Talented and Gifted teachers are hard to come by in Iowa, so it wasn’t until several months later, when a former TAG teacher decided to come out of retirement to finish the year for me that my “day job” came to an end.
That was 3 years ago, and although I no longer spend my free time writing lesson plans or grading papers, I still consider myself a teacher. And when I sat down a made a list of Secrets of a Teacher that make ME a better parent, I wasn’t surprised that my list grew to more than 50 tips quickly! I’ve whittled those down to 30 of the most important and most impactful to share with you.
Because, hey, I want my B.S. + 27 graduate credits + 15 years total experience with children to continue to make a difference in this world, even though my official title has gone from “teacher” to “mom.”
 

---

(This post is part of a 31 Days series, in which I’ll be writing about the same topic everyday in October.  The best way to keep up with this series is to subscribe via email here.)
By the way, I updated the “Our Little House” page!  Check it out!

Shared at: Mom to Mom Monday

Blogger Book Club: Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty (and a few comments on domestic abuse)

Somehow, in September, I read two books in which main characters were the victims of domestic abuse.
I don’t know how it happened.  I didn’t know either book dealt with the topic; it was just a coincidence.
And, also a coincidence, domestic abuse is a hot topic in the news right now, with the Ray Rice scandal on ESPN 24/7. (And I know this, because the first thing my husband does every morning is turn it on.)

One of the books I read, Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty, gave me incredible insight into the heart of the victim.  It examined the reasons the victim stayed and the difficulties she might face in leaving.  And when I finished the book, I had a new understanding of what domestic abuse might be like.

The other book (which I shall not name, because I truly think the author had good intentions, but unfortunately wasn’t as thorough as Moriarty in her research) dealt with the domestic abuse in a much different way.  The character was a victim of emotional abuse for years, until her husband finally hit her.  When that happened, her two friends rushed in to rescue her and she got divorced.  The end.
But what happens in real life is so much more complicated, as we’ve seen by the fact that Ray Rice’s fiancee went on to marry him, even after the abuse occurred.

Often, from the outside looking in, problems (and their solutions) seem simple.  But when you are deep within the situation, it is rarely so black and white.  Life is full of gray areas that make decisions difficult, and sometimes, there is not a clear-cut “right answer.”

Big Little Lies was an accurate reflection of the complexities of real life, as all three main characters had intricate problems.  And yet, the story was about the positive aspects of their life, as well.  The characters were very believable and loveable, and this is a book I’d recommend to any of my girl friends.  I will be reading more by Liane Moriarty soon.

This book started the ball rolling, but domestic abuse is now at the front of my mind, so I will be writing a bit more about it in the coming weeks.  October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and I’ve rounded up a couple links for you if you’re interested in reading more.

Why I Married My Abuser
Miss America’s Bold Statement on the Ray Rice Assault
Women Helping Women

(And be sure to check out Cassie, Kirby, Carmel and Brenda’s reviews of Big Little Lies!)

---

In other news, I’m going to do the 31 Days challenge again this year!  Last year, I wrote about Decorating with Junk.  This year, the topic is near and dear to my heart again, but it’s very different.  Starting tomorrow, I’ll be blogging everyday about tips I learned while teaching that influence me as a parent.  Be sure to subscribe by email to follow along!

Easy Orange Turkey in the Crock Pot

I’ve been trying to do a better job of planning my meals ahead of time lately, so I went to pinterest to look for some easy turkey recipes.
This CrockPot Orange Chicken recipe was (clearly) meant for chicken, but I always have good luck subbing turkey in chicken recipes. I changed the recipe slightly and ended up with sweet orange turkey mixed with crisp tender broccoli and peppers, served with rice.
And it was amazing.

Ingredients:
1 boneless turkey breast (frozen or thawed)
3/4 cup Smuckers Sweet Orange Marmalade
3/4 cup Sweet Baby Ray’s Hickory and Brown Sugar Barbecue Sauce
2 tbsp soy sauce
fresh broccoli, chopped
red, yellow & orange peppers, chopped
Directions:
Cook turkey breast on LOW in crock pot until meat thermometer registers 165 degrees Farenheit.  (I ALWAYS cook my turkey on LOW and ALWAYS use a meat thermometer.)  For a frozen turkey breast, 6-8 hours will do it.
Drain liquid from crock pot. Cut or shred turkey into smaller pieces. Return to crock pot.
Add cut veggies to crock pot (I used what I had on hand, which was a bunch of broccoli and a few sweet mini-peppers.)
Mix Sweet Orange Marmalade, soy sauce, and barbecue sauce.  Pour over meat & veggies in crock pot, and stir.
Cook on high for 30 more minutes.
Serve with brown rice.

After 30 minutes, the veggies were crisp tender and the sauce had warmed up to create the easiest, tastiest Orange Turkey we’ve ever had!  A piece of equipment broke in the turkey barn, so Bart didn’t get in to eat until after 8 pm, but the crock pot kept everything nice and warm for him.
We will definitely be making this again!

Shared at: Motivational Monday